Thursday, September 6, 2012

Lip Gloss Review {Guest Post}

I have a confession to make: I like my lips. I know, that’s SO not what our society tells us is something a girl can say. (What? You like something about yourself? Quick, look at these celebrities and mythical airbrushed models who have/do/wear it waaaay better than you!). But it’s true. I like them. They’re full, bowed-shaped and fit my face well.  It’s not like I sit and stare at them in the mirror but I’ve never had anything to complain about. And neither has my husband – youknowwhatI’msayin’? Wink wink, nudge, nudge.

Was that as awkward for you to read as it was for me to write? Good.

For as long as I could read the flavor of my Bonne Bell, I have tried to find new ways to subtly accentuate my smackers. I even went through a teenaged phase when I walked around with slightly puckered lips to make them seem even fuller. Then one day someone asked me why I was making a platypus face and the puckering stopped soon thereafter. So to avoid being mistaken for an amphibious mammal again, I have stuck to lip gloss to show off those suckers. I own so many tubes of the shiny stuff that my husband has resigned most of his side of the bathroom drawers to my collection. That’s why I love him.

I was really excited to get a chance to check out a couple of glosses that I haven’t tried before. Secret Agent Beauty and Make Up For Ever were nice enough to pass a couple along. Here’s how they stacked up.

Secret Lip Affair in Foreign-Intelligence Flirt: Awesome gloss, ridiculous name. From the sound of Foreign-Intelligence Flirt (which does not need a hyphen, by the way, so that intelligence part may be pushing it a little) I expected a super bright shade normally only reserved for Bond girls. The real color is a shimmery soft pink that is subtle enough to be an everyday shade (laser bra optional). On top of the versatile hue, FIF is also billed as a lip treatment and plumper, and while I don’t think it reached my platypus levels, my lips definitely felt softer and tingly.  Minus the oxymoronic name, this is a definite win.

Aqua Rouge #8: review here

Make Up For Ever AquaRouge in Light Rosewood: I figured the best place to try out the long-lasting claims of this one was the one place where no gloss can or should stand a chance: the gym. Now, I’m sure you go to the gym in perky little sweat- (glisten-) wicking outfits but I, on the other hand, tend to slink in, two whining kids in tow, wearing my husband’s old lacrosse shorts and a t-shirt with a marvel comic character on it that I have made socially acceptable by turning inside out. So yes. Wearing a very noticeable shade of lip color with this ensemble did look utterly ridiculous. Think Drew Barrymore from the flashback prom scene in Never Been Kissed. Minus the taffeta.

By the end of an intense workout, complete with pitying smiles from the other gym goers, the finishing gloss was history but the stain was still pretty well in tact. It even weathered a few kisses on my baby’s chubby little cheeks and a smash against the head of a sweaty three year-old without coming off. The shade was probably a little too dark for my taste, but then again, so is everything when it’s paired with an Incredible Hulk shirt. A definite win.

Needless to say, these two will be gaining some coveted space in my gloss drawer. At times, they may even make the purse list – normally reserved for high-performing, battle-tested products. So even if you already have a few glosses that you love, it wouldn’t hurt to give these ones a try. After all, lip gloss is like a Kardashian’s dress – there’s never quite enough


thank you Debbie for another hilariously awesome review. these gems just brighten up my blog and keep me laughing for days. if you would like to read more of her genius, click here.